12. You Can’t Sing If You’re Dead

Welcome to the twelfth of my 30 daily tips on Health!

I am dedicated to showing people how to live their lives considerately.

We are considerate of others when we live, so doesn’t it make sense to be considerate of those same people when we die. And, yes, this is about funerals.

NOTE: There may be some that actually think people “should” grieve or “have to” grieve at the funeral. People grieve in the way that is best for them. That doesn’t mean it has to be at a time and place that is triggered in their memory for the rest of their lives — the funeral. If you feel they must grieve at your funeral, this isn’t for you. Sorry. I’m all for giving them an option.

Let’s remember that grieving is an individual process. Everyone does it differently. It affects people in different ways when someone dies and leaves them to go to their funeral one day, then to face their lives the next day without them.

The BIG question is:  Why make people suffer more at a funeral than they have to?

NOTE: This is not a recommendation of any sort. I am fully aware of the different aspects of dying, of mourning, of the seriousness of it. I am just showing you options.

How about you? You have to make a choice every time you think about your loved one that has passed over. Are you going to think sad thoughts or are you going to think good thoughts? (You know what I prefer. YOU make your own decision, BUT make it wisely.)

Do you realize that good thoughts will help that person’s soul continue on its journey. Do you realize bad thoughts, such as heartache, pain, despair, loneliness, do not help that person’s soul continue on its journey?

Some people want to have long funerals. However, I don’t. If fellowship is needed, and I feel it is, then have a long reception with planned socializing. Have something that encourages togetherness, so people know they aren’t alone.

The point is, we are all going to die. The point is, we can be in charge of our own funeral. The point is, WE can make OUR funeral set the pace for our loved ones while still being sensitive to their needs.

The reason the experience at the funeral is so important, in case some of you don’t know, is because rarely can people cry their hearts out at the funeral and then go out and live their lives as usual the next day. It’s too hard. We have a memory now of the funeral that we will carry with us. It is up to the person who has passed over to do what they can ahead of time to make sure their funeral sets the right pace, so the memory doesn’t hurt any more than it has to.

We don’t need to march to the old drummer. We need to start living our lives as successfully as we know how. We need to direct our deaths as successfully as we know how… So the living can get on with their lives.

There is a little song below. If you don’t like it, per se, take responsibility to find something to take its place. But only IF you agree that a funeral sets the pace for your loved ones and their memories of you. IF you agree that the sooner a person can start living productively again, they will continue living productively. And, if you agree that we need to change the course funerals have been taking.

You Can’t Sing If You’re Dead… But the congregation can.

This is a song that could play as the casket goes out, but only if you have a sense of humor. I mean no offense.

To the tune of: *If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!*

“There’s a fly in my casket, close the lid.

There’s a fly in my casket, close the lid.

There’s a fly in my casket, he said he’d stay if I asked it.

There’s a fly in my casket, close the lid.”

Thank you for reading.

Jan Tincher


P.S. There is a second verse. Interested? Email me here: jantincher@gmail.com Put in the subject line “2nd verse”.
This is your twelfth of 30 daily tips to be healthy. I hope you enjoy them.

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DISCLAIMER: Jan Tincher and/or any of her websites do not guarantee or warrant that the techniques and strategies portrayed will work for everyone. The techniques and strategies are general in nature and may not apply to everyone. The techniques and strategies are not intended to substitute for obtaining medical advice from the medical profession. Always consult your own professionals before making any life-changing decisions.